Today is my Two Plus Two: – two COVID shots + two weeks – and voila! The CDC, with whom I play Mother, May I, has decided that now fully vaccinated, I can be a freer woman.

I am grateful and thrilled. I can hug my grandchildren!  We can play games and cook and do craft projects in person and mask-less.

I can gather with a few also fully vaccinated friends in my new (to me) home. We can eat dinner together.

And with a mask, I can get my hair cut in a salon or buy groceries in person – something I chose not to do even when Mother CDC said I could.

So I am thrilled and grateful. But also unsettled.

Deprived of schlepping – to the store, to in-person gatherings – I’ve developed my own structure, my own rhythm for what a day looks like.  It sounds pretty boring, but the predictability is comforting, the priorities clear.

Coffee, journaling, oatmeal, the Reuters podcast, the daily paper – all at leisure before dressing, making the bed, writing, And then at some point at least 30 minutes of exercise and 30 minutes of reading, usually in preparation for some online workshop I’m taking, and a romp through my daily to-do list of business and personal calls. Around 4:30 I call or hear from my church pandemic conversation partner,  then on to dinner, the NewsHour, and often another Zoom call.

I hesitate to say I feel like a prisoner on the eve of release. I am, after all, moving back toward an old life that is safe and welcoming. And yet, the adjustment feels huge. I wonder whether the grocery store will feel overwhelming and how well – with so many choices – I’ll keep my priorities straight.

Already, trying to fit in 1:1 coffee next week with a fully vaccinated friend, I struggle to find a slot. I’ve waited till I’m fully vaccinated to schedule a plumbing inspection, to have my carpet cleaned and stain-proofed, to have my hair cut.

I cancel an acupuncture appointment because the acupuncturist will not allow me to be maskless with any outsider – CDC guidelines notwithstanding – for a week before the appointment.

Can I trust myself to book sensibly?  To hang on to the forced pleasure of undistracted reading and leisurely neighborhood walks?  Will I still exercise each day come hell or high water?

What have I learned from all this?