For years, I’ve prided myself – silently – on all the time I’ve saved by not watching

football.

“Why bother?” I’ve asked myself. “By the next day, the big plays have been YouTubed 547 times, and someone who understands what just happened, has explained it all in excruciating detail. In less than a minute, I will know the play was just like one the San Francisco 49ers pulled off back in 1975.”