They say a journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step, so it should come as no surprise that de-stressing for something as big as the holidays must begin with 10,000.
I hadn’t planned to start the season with such an ambitious, time-consuming de-stresser, but the professor in a positive psychology class I’m taking thought it would be a great idea. More accurately, he required it – along with a pedometer and daily reports on our class blog. Since the unit was on the mind-body connection, I figured the expected reports were on the mood-altering properties of a good walk.
“Be sure to wear your pedometer,” he said gaily, which suggested we already owned them. I did not mention that the closest I’ve come to a pedometer was a couple of years ago when I placed one in my son’s Christmas stocking. Or that the closest he came to it was when he handed it over to his wife.
Since I refused to confess to pedometric ignorance, I set out without a roadmap to find one. It is not a simple task. There are cheap analog ones that simply count steps and more expensive digital ones with stopwatches that count not just steps but miles and calories, tell time and I think play music.
When the salesman started pointing to some that “counted every single step,” I got curious. “You mean some don’t count every step?” I asked.
“Well, “ he said, “the digital ones are better.” Better meant you could attach it to your shoe and get credit not only for walking but also pedaling a bike, tapping your foot and – ta-dah! – possibly driving? I quickly sprung for the “better” one and after two trips to the store for technical assistance was wracking up digital numbers with every step.
I’ll admit it put a positive spin on holiday confusion. Shopping in mega-malls was suddenly a plus, and I was thrilled when I couldn’t find close-in parking. Suddenly, I had an advantage over the younger students. Every time I misplaced my shoes, my glasses or could not remember why I walked into a room, I was sure to log another 2,000 steps.
Still, in addition to the more positive real one, I was mentally posting another daily report on the class blog. “What sort of sadist would assign this extra work during the holidays?” I whined. By the 9,000th step, it had morphed into a newspaper headline: “Student Collapses. Professor Indicted.”
In the end, like a child who threatens to run away but comes home before dark, I stopped with the fantasy notes and surrendered. I am proud to announce that on one momentous day, I wracked up 15,000 steps. That’s a lot even if it was in response to a challenge from my daughter’s boyfriend, who promised lunch and dessert.
But I will never match the joyous report from one of my classmates:
“15,000 steps today. I have no idea how this happened!”
My theory was it happened because he fell into a coma somewhere around 9K and experienced 6,000 involuntary twitches in his right foot. I’ve made a mental note to see if he has a digital pedometer.
Copyright 2011 Pat Snyder
